Avataraholics Anonymous

So if you recently watched Avatar you probably hate mankind and our pathetically boring planet. I mean, that’s the point of it right? Even Danny DeVito can see the hollowness of this quintessence of dust.

Well fear not Danny boy! Ask and the internet shall provide.This Avatar forum provides you with all the sensible advice that emotionally stable people who are “just having a little trouble facing reality” could possibly want. Take this poor gent for example

The past 7 nights in a row my wife has asked me to have sex with her, and I just havent been in the mood. Scratch that. I’m incredibly horny most of the time, but I dont feel attracted to her anymore. The sight of her naked literally does nothing for me, and I’m frightened by that. Instead I imagine Neytiri. Her majestic grace and boundless beauty as well as the alien mystery about her. I want to fly off to pandora and live with her, to be with her always. I would worship her as she deserves. I’d do anything to just to touch her, to smell her.

She’s the perfect woman, and i feel like this life here has lost its spark. Where is the magic in humanity. Just a few days ago, my son asked me some question about what happened in Avatar. I dont even remember what it was, but after I told him, I started crying. Right in front of him. All I can think about is how depressing it is that I will never reach pandora. I almost vomited while I cried. It was the most pathetic thing I have ever done. Im in my 30’s for god’s sake. I have to remain strong for my son. Right?

via cynical-c

Very strong. Lets just hope he never finds out you’ve gone off his mother for the 3d rendered, 10ft tall, blue alien equivalent of Jessica Rabbit and the reason you were crying is because this science fiction story isnt true! Maybe you should take this piece of sage advice?

“The only way you can fill the emptiness you feel after this movie, is to jump on the leonopteryx.”

I assume this is some kind of brilliant euphamism. Does jumping on the leonopteryx relieve you of stress? If i jump on the leonopterix too often will I go blind?


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